Hurt or Offended?


Friday Reflection


8th January 2021


'two very different things'

'A person's wisdom
 yields patience;
 it is to one's glory
 to overlook an offense.'

...Proverbs 19:11

Have you been hurt
by a false assumption
made about you or your family?
Or a message on social media?
Or an altercation
with a work colleague?
It happens at some time
or another to all of us -
and it hurts!

But were we actually
hurt or offended?

Being hurt or offended
are two very different things;
and we rarely take time
to sort through them,
which leads us to
all sorts of issues
in our relationships.

Emotional hurt is something
we experience because
something wrong has
been done to us;
lies, gossip or broken promises.

And if we're going to be honest,
we would also admit there have
been times when we've hurt others.

Offense is not the result
of something done to us;
it's something we choose.

This can be our reaction
to nasty emails,
something we discovered
we didn't like about
a person or situation.

Hurt happens to us.
Being offended is
a choice we made.

Hurt requires healing;
offense requires
an objective opinion.
And God is the
God of the hurt heart
and the offended heart;
he is here to help us
sort things through.

In the past few months,
we have become more isolated
than we ever have been.
While many are hurting
because of everything
this year has brought.

We are all on edge,
and rightly so;
many of us have had our
lives turned upside down.

As much as this season of
isolation and division
has tried to convince us that
we don't need people,
we do.
And I believe the enemy
would love for us to stay
offended and divided.

Our verse from Proverbs 19 today
is one we probably should have
pinned on our fridges
so that it is readily
available for us
to read frequently if we want
to come through this season
of life with important
relationships intact;
it says;

A person's wisdom
yields patience;
it is to one's glory
to overlook
an offense.'(v11)

The book of Proverbs
is a book of wisdom.
The word 'glory' used here
refers to a sign of
growth and maturity.

As we grow and mature,
we learn how to recognise
hurt versus offence.
Hurt requires healing;
being offended requires us
to 'let it go'.

We need to lay down the
hurt or offense before God
and let it go,
not picking it back up again;
there are some places
of hurt that only
God can heal;
we need to get over it
and stop being offended.

This can be very hard;
we are all human
and coming to terms
with our emotions
often leaves us feeling
challenged and drained.

Someone may need our
forgiveness today;
or our willingness
to overlook being offended;
if we bring the situation
to God,
he will help us;
he will give us the strength
needed to resolve the situation.

It may be interesting to watch,
or just listen to a song
'Come, be with me'
from Chants for Prayer
via the link shown below.